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Dirk Valentine
Dirk Valentine is a Detroit-based professional wrestler who has worked with TWOStars since March 2009. He is currently managed by Eric The Manager. Background Valentine grew up in Detroit, Michigan, usually home alone whilst his parents traveled the country to protest against abortion, fur and the manufacturing of cheese. Left to his own devices, Valentine would usually play alone with his video game consoles and geeky magazines detailing how to make Star Wars helmets out of empty KFC buckets and mashed potato. His school grades were high but his social standing was low; so low that many actually forgot that he was even a student at the school, including his class tutor who handed over his graduate certificate with the words "it's so nice to finally meet you." It wouldn't have been so bad, but he had sat right in front of her desk. Every day. For six years. With his interests set firmly in roleplay and nerd-like discovery, Valentine had no aspiration to get into the wrestling industry. He had attempted an online roleplaying game called an "e-fed" once, but felt it too geeky even for him. In his mind, his true calling was as a mafia boss, or a secret agent working for MI5, or as the next Captain Kirk. He wanted to gain confidence, learn new skills, make his family proud of him and, most importantly, make new friends. Valentine only has one friend in the whole wide world and that friend forced him into a world he was not ready for - the world of TWOStars. Never to be trusted on his own (for fear of a repeat of THAT incident... you know, the one with the baby and the ice-cream scoop), Valentine is accompanied at all times by his faithless companion: Eric The Manager! Eric The Manager is, for lack of a better phrase, a belligerent midget whose unspecified disability leaves him bound in an wheelchair that Valentine pushes for him, despite its electric capabilities. Unlike Valentine's friendly and quirky demeanor, Eric is an adorable-looking monstrosity with a bad attitude who feels that the world owes him something. His parents had given him everything he could ever wish for, but he was also a social leper and spent his free time plotting ways to get ahead in life as a man of power. He will often use his disability to get him what he wants, playing the sweet little boy role in public whilst browbeating Valentine into doing what he expects of him like a toy. Many would say that Valentine should just tell Eric "No", but Valentine is too nice of a guy and Eric IS the only person whom he can call a pal. Because of this, Eric knows that he can use Valentine for his schemes and his ultimate goal - to wear TWOStars gold around his tiny, deformed waist. Yes, he takes this stuff far too seriously. Eric is almost the complete polar-opposite of Valentine in every conceivable manner. Where Valentine has a sense of humour and a love for life, Eric has neither unless at the expense of others. Where Valentine is shy and lacking in self-esteem, Eric is loud, foul-mouthed and full of himself. Where Valentine would help a fallen child to its feet, Eric repeatedly ran over it with his wheelchair (but managed to escape charges). Yet, Valentine sees no flaws in his manager; a manager who sees everything about Valentine as weak and ripe for exploitation to suit his own desires. It does not matter that Valentine is a weedy little fellow with arms the size of earthworms, or that his skin is pasty, or even that his knowledge of wrestling is limited to being a fan and occasional dabbler in Amateur-style (a style that he found a surprising amount of aptitude for, yet no confidence with which to follow it through). All that matters to Dirk Valentine is that he tries his best and makes his friend happy. And all that matters to Eric The Manager is that Valentine doesn't screw it all up for him. If he does, there's gonna be hell to pay. Entrance The stage lights start to flash between all the vibrant colours of the rainbow as the instrumental sound of "Future Boys" by Electric Six kicks through the arena. Dirk Valentine appears through the curtain with his cape firmly attached around his neck, dancing and jumping around like an excited child, yet with a hint of trepidation about what he's about to step into. Dirk jogs in time to the music whilst Eric The Manager wheels down the ramp, starting behind Dirk but eventually just overtaking him down to the ring, unimpressed by his unsuccessful pandering to the crowd. Dirk runs up the ringside steps, climbs into the ring and balances himself on the bottom turnbuckle to salute the fans with both hands, as he is too scared to go any higher (and he may often try to - with much hilarity ensuing). Usually, as this is all going on, the commentators are burying Dirk for being such a tool and in two minds about Eric and his attitude (considering his condition). Attire Valentine comes to the ring in a dark purple velvet cape over a generic black Lycra outfit with two chest straps, purple pants over the top of his manly area, and purple wrestling boots. The cape reads "Señor Fire" in big white letters. Eric The Manager comes to the ring in a wheelchair, often wearing a sports cap and jersey of a rival Sports team to whatever town he is in. He sometimes wears glasses, and is mostly in dark trousers and Converse trainers on his small feet which often hang in weird directions. When questioned about this condition in a recent media interview, Eric exclaimed "I'M CLUB F**KING FOOTED, YOU ASSWIPE!" Category:Wrestlers